fear. future. time.

by - March 13, 2017

As we close in on the last month of school specifically my sophomore year I find it increasingly hard to keep myself from getting nostalgic. This past week my soccer team had its senior night, it was at this moment that everything hit. All of my friends I had made last year who were juniors were about to graduate, the bonds I had made with most of the players on my soccer team would be dissolved since many of them were either graduating or moving to a different school in our city. Basically, I was facing something that many Americans and fellow human beings feel at least once in their lives -- the fear of change.

You see this feeling isn't new to me, in fact, I felt something similar when I first moved to high school in the first place. The fear of moving to someplace new and not fitting in. The fear of not seeing friends I had seen nearly daily for the majority of my elementary and middle school years. The fear that I would now be a loner.

But this time my fear has morphed and taken on a new shape. Looking back it's funny really for I'm constantly planning for my future. Planning out where I would like to go to college, where I'd like to settle down, who I'd like to marry etc. Now I'm just "rushing" to stop the time so that I can enjoy and cherish the relationships I've made today.

I always looked to the future asking God to speed up the time so that I can go ahead and get my driver's license or so that I can see whether I make it into Yale or not. Now though I see that time isn't something I want to speed up, because once these moments are gone, they are gone forever.

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